No one likes me online dating
So after spending countless hours scrolling through my Facebook feed, unfollowing nauseatingly-happy couples, I just have to find out why I’ve never had my chance to be one of them. Physical appearance is often the first thing people — especially men — use as a qualifier for pursuing something.
I’ve witnessed the ebb and flow of many people’s dating lives while mine remains . My internal dialogue often goes through this loop: Am I not attractive? What can I do to be me while also being deemed attractive enough to have someone want to just give me a at a date?
” And the answers overwhelmingly said: being attractive helps with first dates because it’s easy to get that initial interest. I can count the number of first dates I’ve been on one hand.
So here comes the inevitable next question: I swear I am not just fishing for compliments. As a staff writer at Upworthy on the sex and relationships beat (#lolsob), I get some (read: many) unsolicited pitches about different dating apps, sites, services, etc.
So I’m glad to be the “sacrificial lamb” of sorts and use my personal experience to dig into some of the microaggressions single folk face regularly.
I’ll admit, though, that putting myself out there in this way is a type of vulnerability I am not used to.
This dovetails with one of the first things people like to say when I mention my difficulty with (not) dating — usually some variation of “But you’re so beautiful! ” I know this isn’t a phenomenon unique to me — the canned responses to women lamenting their single status always seem to reference some sort of (often unsolicited) affirmation about their beauty. Are attractive people not supposed to have trouble finding people interested in them? if I have trouble finding people interested in me does that mean I am not attractive?
Well, here’s my chance to explore the issue and get some real, unbiased answers on the matter.
Had I finally found an app where men would be held accountable for their actions?Seeing the hard numbers showing that singles overwhelmingly found me unattractive was a big blow to my self-esteem.To add insult to injury, the best-performing photo is one that looks the least like me. I thought, if I don’t even know what size I am anymore, can I really trust myself to know how attractive I appear to the world?I have been painfully single for a ridiculously long time.I am running on six (going on seven) years of involuntary celibacy.
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Knowing that people to talk about sex and relationships, I first turned to my 1,600 Facebook friends and followers for their thoughts.